The Dreaded Carwash

So....several weeks ago after that "snow" we had, I took my car through the carwash. I realized however, as we pulled in, that it was the first time Landon had gone through one post sleeping infant. (Note to self: I should really wash my car more often!)

Long story short, the kid FREAKED out. Literally...scared to death. You can judge me if you want to. I'm aware of the mild lack of sensitivity, but it was stinking hilarious. And being that I knew he was ok and from where I was sitting I really couldnt do anything but give words of comfort, taking the video really wasnt THAT big of a deal:) Yes....I took a video of him. I know, I know. But I dont regret it all. That moment was too precious to not have recorded for years to come:)

Last weekend my car was quite filthy so we decided to go through the fateful carwash again. Being that Landon is fully functional on my phone and reguarly pulls of the videos (99% of which are of him) and watches them...he had seen the carwash video several times. My thought process was that he would be more familiar with what happens and not be so scared this time.

Wrong.

Here are pictures of him watching the car in FRONT of us while we waited our turn. (yes, I took pictures again. But seriously....how could you NOT capture these looks? And besides, Kirk got in the backseat with him so he was being comforted.)

Than we pulled in....the bloody murder screams began. We said all we could, "Weee!" "See, its tub time for mommy's car!" "Our car is just brushing its teeth lovey, no worries!"

And still....this is what we got from him.

As we are driving out we both are cheering;

"Yay Landon!! You were so brave. We're so proud of you!"

"Ya....I, uh...brave." (very timidly spoken.)

"See, and now next time we go through you'll be a pro!"

"NOOOOOOOO! I'll never go through again!!!!!!"

Bottom line....if my car looks filthy, dont judge. You now know why:)

The Power of a Heartbeat

Yes, Ive blogged this title before. It was the posting I did after realizing that our pregnancy last summer was of a baby who did not have a heartbeat. It was incredible to me how truly powerful that heartbeat really is. How the lack of hearing it makes your own heart beat feel like it pauses. It was a total moment of shock...I had never even considered that it wouldnt be there. That heartbeat had the power of changing my life.

But that's not what this post is about. THIS post is about a different power a heartbeat can have. The power the heartbeat has to make your heart explode with joy and your eyes with tears. Im talking about the heartbeat we heard today. The heartbeat of our 11 week old baby in utero. I had taken the positive test (who am I kidding, the two positive tests) on Dec. 4th. The next week I went to the doctor for them to check my levels and confirm that on all accounts so far, things were looking good. First appointment...check! Our next appointment was a week and a half later. The appointment to check for a heartbeat.

Needless to say I was nervous. Its incredible how instantly your heart connects and longs for that baby. I was 6.5 weeks pregnant but already couldnt stand the thought of seeing that look on my doctor's face again. In a attitude of prayer I prepared myself for the appointment and as we saw the little (I mean...really barely anything there) blob on the screen the sounds of the wooshing heartbeat filled the room....and filled my heart. That heartbeat had the power of bringing me both comfort and fear at the same time. It was still early. It was still too early to get connected.

The days and weeks passed and the reassurance from my lack of energy, hightened smell, feeling like crap 24/7, and stupidly growing boobs kept me encouraged. But it was today...this appointment....that I was waiting for. I've been anxious. Not really nervous, just anxious. My heart was prepared for the worst, but held onto the best. The doctor informed me that at 11 weeks its still fairly early and sometimes, depending on the position of the uterus, we still may not hear a heartbeat. "But that doesnt mean it's not there." Ok doc...that's not good enough. I need confirmation either way, and I need it today. Although I didnt say those words aloud Im pretty sure they were written across my face because she followed it by saying that if we couldnt pick it up with the doppler that we would do another transvaginal ultrasound to get a clear reading. My mind and heart simply paused. I never even considered not getting an answer today. I turned every part of me to the Lord and simply said, "God...I need this. Just please let me hear that heartbeat." It was a split moment of intestinal grumbling coming through the speaker before the wooshing began to fill the room again. I honestly didnt expect to, but I started to cry. So did the doctor. And Im thinking Kirk may have wanted to too but instead he just grabbed my shoulder and smiled. (Also...Im certain Landon would have smiled too if he a.) knew what was going on, and b.) wasnt enthraled in Monsters Inc->thank you iphone!)

I exhaled....a breath I had been holding since December 4th.

Although we arent quite into our second trimester, they've monitored it so closely that aside from developmental issues down the road...all signs point to happy and healthy pregnancy! Due date estimated at August 10, 2010 (ya, awesome I know). Peak of the summer heat. But you know what....I'll take it! Because come August 10th (or before, if Im really exposing my heart here) I will be holding this little baby. The one we have yearned for so deeply this last year.

Sorta yogurt

Landon: "Grandma Im hungry. Do you have anymore yogurt?"
Grandma: "Well I have this (Keifer yogurt drink). It's sorta yogurt."
Landon: "Oh ok. I want some sorta yogurt."

I love my little guy;)